Perfectionism again…

perfectionist

I promise this is a topic you will hear about again…

It not only interests me when work with gifted children but those that close to me know that I am a horrible perfectionist. It is something I have struggled with all my life. I am beginning to understand it better now that I am an adult and researching this trait.

This blog is helping me too- I have had to realize that being imperfect is going to happen and people will still like me (or at least they say they do).

A few imperfect things I have done the past two weeks:

1. Misspelled a word on my business card (after I handed out about 100!)

2. Not been able to get the bullets to line up “just right” in a blog post

3. After posting great information to about 300 people, I realized a hyperlink didn’t work

4. In tomorrow’s post, I COULD NOT get the font to all be same size

5. A safe bet would be that I have misspelled at least one word

In the whole scheme of life these are NOT big events. My point is that sometimes perfectionists get caught up in the small failures instead of looking at the big picture.  I am realizing that if I learn from my mistakes, laugh about them, and move on… I do get better with my adventures. Hopefully I don’t lose people along the way!

A website of tips for parents of gifted children that have perfectionism: http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10203.aspx

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Learning Curve and Being an Adult Perfectionist

With everything in life, there is a learning curve. As I have been doing research on gifted children the past few years, one characteristic comes up quite a bit- perfectionism. I think I am going to self-diagnose myself with this problem and come clean. I am a perfectionist (if you have worked with me or been in class with me, I am so sorry. I bet I was annoying) and I am admitting it. So starting a blog is one way I am working to deal with my problem. I can’t be perfect in this adventure (and it is ok, it is ok, it is ok…) but I am trying. One step at a time, right?! I am sure if you follow this blog, you  might be annoyed as I change colors or layouts trying to find the “right” one for me.

By the way, here is a great article for any other adult perfectionists. I will continue to write on this topic because it is a very personal subject for me.

http://www.anxietybc.com/sites/default/files/Perfectionism.pdf

My personal favorite is this one:

Looking at the big picture
Adults with perfectionism tend to get bogged down in details and spend a lot of
time worrying about ”the little things” (e.g., what font to use in an email). One
helpful strategy to worry less about details is to ask yourself the following
questions:
1. Does it really matter?
2. What is the worst that could happen?
3. If the worst does happen, can I survive it?
4. Will this still matter tomorrow? How about next week? Next year?

Here are a few more tips that I really don’t know if I could do! (My attempt today and working through the perfectionism- I could not figure out why the layout is messed up in my blog post but I am going to let it go…)

Here are some examples to help you brainstorm items for exposure practice:

  • Show up for an appointment 15 minutes late
  • Leave a visible area in the house a little messy
    Tell people when you are tired (or other feelings that you consider it a weakness to have)
  • Wear a piece of clothing that has a visible stain on it
  • Purposely allow several uncomfortable silences to occur during lunch with a co-worker
    Purposely be a few cents short for bus fare
  • Lose your train of thought during a presentation
  • Send a letter or e-mail that includes a few mistakes
    Talk at a meeting without first rehearsing what you are going to say in your head
    Try a new restaurant without first researching how good it is

 

Picture from: http://www.flourishover50.com/wp-content/uploads/perfectionist.jpg